I've still been struggling with fitting in at Trinity, and feeling sick every day certainly doesn't help. The only place I really feel comfortable is in my Honors English 11 class. I'm at a table with 3 other people, and we all somehow have the same interests. My friend Patrick is a Titanic nerd as well, and he knows about the BW Music Theater program. Lisa and I have the same taste in literature, and Gabby and I just get along really easily. I also just do well in that class. I credit The Lyceum a lot for that, because we had to look at literature in a way most schools don't. I'm one step ahead in that respect, and that's really helpful. I look forward to English all day, and I hate that it's my last period. But it's really nice to have something like that to look forward to. I'm thankful for that.
Going back to yesterday, I went to 8pm mass at Holy Rosary. Although my family technically belongs to Holy Rosary, my mom and I started going to Communion of Saints while my dad works at Blessed Trinity Parish. So, we're all on different Mass schedules. It gets kind of frustrating, not going to Mass as a family. But my dad's parish is 40 minutes away and we aren't morning people. So we end up at COS (Communion of Saints) a lot. Anyway, I was alone at Mass, and I don't like being alone at Mass. I was freaking out because I felt really sick and I had to "sit through" Mass worrying about my stomach. I was 15 minutes early for Mass, so I had some time to pray with the organ playing quietly in the background. I sat in the front-ish by the tabernacle and just prayed:
Lord,
I pray that as I kneel before You, You might take away any doubt and fear from my mind. Remind me that as long as I am in Your presence, You will take care of me. I don't know where my life is going at the moment, but give me peace in You and help me trust You fully. I love You, O my Life! I am Yours. I am not my own. Help me to live as Your daughter first and foremost.
Amen
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