Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Subtle Reminders
Today I was at rehearsal for "Little Women" and all of the principal characters were there. I was sitting in the auditorium watching the other cast go through some scenes. I was a few seats away from the man who is playing Professor Bhaer, but all the seats in between were empty. I knew he was Catholic (he goes to John Carrol) but I wasn't sure how Catholic he was. I happened to catch a glimpse of his keys and he had one of those Rosary rings on his keychain. I commented on it and he smiled like he was really glad I noticed. It was really nice for me to see that there was another Catholic there with me. It was a nice little reminder that God is everywhere.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Oh, Steubie U
I got back yesterday from a great weekend at Franciscan University of Steubenville. It was a challenging weekend for sure, but it was worth it.
Usually when I go on a big retreat I come home on a really big "spiritual high". This time, though, it was completely different. I didn't feel all emotional and super happy; I felt calm. During Adoration on Saturday night I just kind of laid it all out on the table for God. I was freaking out about a lot of different things. I'm still worried, but less so now. It was really interesting, though, because I was with a different youth group than I normally am. Some of the kids were really into it...others...not even trying. There were some who couldn't quite connect with God, but they TRIED.
I was in a different dorm room on both nights. There were five of us the first night. It was a nice, quiet night. The girls were respectful of each other and they let everyone else sleep. I felt happy and connected to God that night. I slept well and wasn't worried about anything.
The second night I was with four other girls. Suzie (her blog with Helen and Liz is awesome!) was with me and we were both sleeping on the floor...not all that comfortably either. The other girls were generally really sweet. There was one girl, though, only about twelve years old, who acted like she was about seventeen. She talked about so many inappropriate things and didn't find anything wrong with joking about things like dating, sex, etc. She swore more than a lot of twenty year olds that I know. I was originally about ready to slap her in the face (I know...Super Christian, right? ...No) but eventually I just gave up. I basically said "It's not going to bug me. What she does and says this weekend is between her and God. I have no business interfering." I decided I would just go to sleep. That didn't work either. My stomach problems have been getting worse and worse lately, and Saturday was really bad. All day i was really nauseous and it worried me. After a little while it went away, but it came back at night. Around 1am I went over to the clinic...I felt really bad for making my youth leader stay up, but I felt really gross. Of course, no matter where you are, there's not much that people can do for nausea. I laid down there for like an hour and ten minutes, miserable, worried, shaking, exhausted. I finally went back to the dorms and fell asleep around 3am. Challenge #2.
Challenge #3 is going to be the next three weeks. I have theatre camp every day from 10am-4:30pm, and straight from there I go to rehearsal from 6:00pm-10:00pm. I'm going to be really tired and I think it's going to be rough for me to remember to pray, read the Bible, etc. But I'm hoping that God will help out with the stress and chaos.
God bless you all!
Usually when I go on a big retreat I come home on a really big "spiritual high". This time, though, it was completely different. I didn't feel all emotional and super happy; I felt calm. During Adoration on Saturday night I just kind of laid it all out on the table for God. I was freaking out about a lot of different things. I'm still worried, but less so now. It was really interesting, though, because I was with a different youth group than I normally am. Some of the kids were really into it...others...not even trying. There were some who couldn't quite connect with God, but they TRIED.
I was in a different dorm room on both nights. There were five of us the first night. It was a nice, quiet night. The girls were respectful of each other and they let everyone else sleep. I felt happy and connected to God that night. I slept well and wasn't worried about anything.
The second night I was with four other girls. Suzie (her blog with Helen and Liz is awesome!) was with me and we were both sleeping on the floor...not all that comfortably either. The other girls were generally really sweet. There was one girl, though, only about twelve years old, who acted like she was about seventeen. She talked about so many inappropriate things and didn't find anything wrong with joking about things like dating, sex, etc. She swore more than a lot of twenty year olds that I know. I was originally about ready to slap her in the face (I know...Super Christian, right? ...No) but eventually I just gave up. I basically said "It's not going to bug me. What she does and says this weekend is between her and God. I have no business interfering." I decided I would just go to sleep. That didn't work either. My stomach problems have been getting worse and worse lately, and Saturday was really bad. All day i was really nauseous and it worried me. After a little while it went away, but it came back at night. Around 1am I went over to the clinic...I felt really bad for making my youth leader stay up, but I felt really gross. Of course, no matter where you are, there's not much that people can do for nausea. I laid down there for like an hour and ten minutes, miserable, worried, shaking, exhausted. I finally went back to the dorms and fell asleep around 3am. Challenge #2.
Challenge #3 is going to be the next three weeks. I have theatre camp every day from 10am-4:30pm, and straight from there I go to rehearsal from 6:00pm-10:00pm. I'm going to be really tired and I think it's going to be rough for me to remember to pray, read the Bible, etc. But I'm hoping that God will help out with the stress and chaos.
God bless you all!
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Unquestionable Strength
Happy Father's Day! My dad is great. He always makes me laugh and he has a great personality. I love you, dad!
Father's Day has always had a bittersweet feeling, though. Years ago, on Father's Day, while on vacation, my mom's brother drowned. He was scuba diving with his friend with no adult supervision. His friend assured him that everything would be fine, but something went wrong with his oxygen tank, and he died. My grandparents were devastated, and so was my mom. My grandpa, though, is one of the strongest people I know. To lose your only son on Father's Day due to something so avoidable..the grief must have been unimaginable. My grandpa was of course completely heartbroken, but he dedicated his life to his wife and his daughter, my mom. Then, once I came along, he was devoted to keeping me happy and faithful. He has always been so sweet to me and to everyone else. He's almost 90 years old and he's living alone. That doesn't stop him from serving. He drives all the little old ladies to all of their doctors' appointments and goes out to breakfast with his sisters every week. He is so loving, it's incredible. I'm so proud of him. I love you, Jhidoo! (<----- Arabic for "Grandpa")
Happy Father's Day to all the dad's out there!
Father's Day has always had a bittersweet feeling, though. Years ago, on Father's Day, while on vacation, my mom's brother drowned. He was scuba diving with his friend with no adult supervision. His friend assured him that everything would be fine, but something went wrong with his oxygen tank, and he died. My grandparents were devastated, and so was my mom. My grandpa, though, is one of the strongest people I know. To lose your only son on Father's Day due to something so avoidable..the grief must have been unimaginable. My grandpa was of course completely heartbroken, but he dedicated his life to his wife and his daughter, my mom. Then, once I came along, he was devoted to keeping me happy and faithful. He has always been so sweet to me and to everyone else. He's almost 90 years old and he's living alone. That doesn't stop him from serving. He drives all the little old ladies to all of their doctors' appointments and goes out to breakfast with his sisters every week. He is so loving, it's incredible. I'm so proud of him. I love you, Jhidoo! (<----- Arabic for "Grandpa")
Happy Father's Day to all the dad's out there!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Music Is My One Salvation, Singing Is My Celebration! *Warning: this post contains personal opinions on homosexuality that could be opposite yours. Please only read if you are comfortable with that topic. Thank you!*
"Honestly, though, theatre's the best, isn't it? You get to come to places like this and sit in the dark for two hours and just escape. Instead of thinking about your own childhood problems, you watch a childhood fairytale come to life before your eyes. Instead of stressing about your own relationships, you watch two people from different parts of the world fall in love and make beautiful music together. Instead of worrying about the news of today, you hear about the news of yesterday delivered by overly attractive, hyper acrobatic 35 year old 15 year olds." -Neil Patrick Harris - 2012 Tony Awards
For the last fifteen and a half years, I have the amazing privilege to be immersed in musical theatre and just straight theatre. It has truly been an escape and a sanctuary. No matter what was going on in my life, I could always go to rehearsal, go sing, read a play, and just forget everything. There is a musical for everything - or at least a song for everything. No matter what emotion I'm feeling, there is a song I can listen to that takes me away from it all. I've never found another passion that can do that for me. I can't imagine my life without theatre. It has been such a huge part of me for so long, and I couldn't be more grateful. I went from ensemble to ensemble, and now I get to play Beth in "Little Women" , and I couldn't be happier.
I honestly do think it's made me a more accepting person. I know this is a really controversial subject, but I think it has made me unafraid to associate and be good friends with homosexuals. I am not looking to start an argument, so please don't take what I'm about to say the wrong way. The Catholic Church has perfect logic in saying that God's plan was for a man and a woman to marry. I do, however, believe that we can't shun those people who have chosen to live a certain way. We are charged by Christ to love everyone. We love even those who share different opinions. If a state allows same-sex marriage, though we may be uncomfortable with it, we can not simply say "I will never associate with a person of that nature, and I will not try to understand them" simply because of their sexual orientation. My main problem with many Catholics (I may be putting my foot in my mouth) is that they seem unwilling to even be near anyone who is homosexual. THIS is what I dislike. Though you may not think homosexual marriage should be allowed, we must try to be loving and charitable towards homosexuals. We must try to share the Word of God with them. But above all, we must rely on God's mercy to save them. Many of the Catholics that I have met simply say that homosexuals are automatically going to hell. Who are we to judge? I believe this even more firmly since studies are showing that it is NOT something you choose, as was previously believed. This leads me to say that we ought to be more accepting. Many homosexuals try to live normally, even get married to someone of the opposite sex to try and "get rid" of the "disease" that so many look down upon. Honestly, I find that more heartbreaking and wrong than them given equality... Maybe this makes me a terrible Catholic, I don't know. But seeing these people struggle so much with themselves and with others' approval makes me feel that we have to try to accept this. Anyway, that's what I have to say. If you disagree, I'm sorry. If I offended you, again, I'm sorry. I guess my main thing is that I just desire acceptance...and theatre has taught me that.
Theatre gives me a chance to use my talents for the Glory of Christ. That gives me more joy than anything. I am so thankful to have been involved in such a beautiful art form.
For the last fifteen and a half years, I have the amazing privilege to be immersed in musical theatre and just straight theatre. It has truly been an escape and a sanctuary. No matter what was going on in my life, I could always go to rehearsal, go sing, read a play, and just forget everything. There is a musical for everything - or at least a song for everything. No matter what emotion I'm feeling, there is a song I can listen to that takes me away from it all. I've never found another passion that can do that for me. I can't imagine my life without theatre. It has been such a huge part of me for so long, and I couldn't be more grateful. I went from ensemble to ensemble, and now I get to play Beth in "Little Women" , and I couldn't be happier.
I honestly do think it's made me a more accepting person. I know this is a really controversial subject, but I think it has made me unafraid to associate and be good friends with homosexuals. I am not looking to start an argument, so please don't take what I'm about to say the wrong way. The Catholic Church has perfect logic in saying that God's plan was for a man and a woman to marry. I do, however, believe that we can't shun those people who have chosen to live a certain way. We are charged by Christ to love everyone. We love even those who share different opinions. If a state allows same-sex marriage, though we may be uncomfortable with it, we can not simply say "I will never associate with a person of that nature, and I will not try to understand them" simply because of their sexual orientation. My main problem with many Catholics (I may be putting my foot in my mouth) is that they seem unwilling to even be near anyone who is homosexual. THIS is what I dislike. Though you may not think homosexual marriage should be allowed, we must try to be loving and charitable towards homosexuals. We must try to share the Word of God with them. But above all, we must rely on God's mercy to save them. Many of the Catholics that I have met simply say that homosexuals are automatically going to hell. Who are we to judge? I believe this even more firmly since studies are showing that it is NOT something you choose, as was previously believed. This leads me to say that we ought to be more accepting. Many homosexuals try to live normally, even get married to someone of the opposite sex to try and "get rid" of the "disease" that so many look down upon. Honestly, I find that more heartbreaking and wrong than them given equality... Maybe this makes me a terrible Catholic, I don't know. But seeing these people struggle so much with themselves and with others' approval makes me feel that we have to try to accept this. Anyway, that's what I have to say. If you disagree, I'm sorry. If I offended you, again, I'm sorry. I guess my main thing is that I just desire acceptance...and theatre has taught me that.
Theatre gives me a chance to use my talents for the Glory of Christ. That gives me more joy than anything. I am so thankful to have been involved in such a beautiful art form.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Hold My Heart
It's just one of those nights... One of those nights when I cry and pray a lot. It seems to happen pretty often... Tonight this song popped into my head as I was praying tearfully:
The lines that really stood out to me tonight were the lines of the chorus:
"One tear in the driving rain...
One voice in a sea of pain...
Could the Maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life...that's all I am
And right now I can barely stand.
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart?"
It basically sums up how I was feeling: hopeless, helpless, worried, yet trying to trust Him for His answer and His goodness. Simple, but somehow, complex.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
"I Detest All My Sins....but Mostly Because They Offend Thee"
I went to confession today, and it felt so good. I hadn't gone in about a month, and I just needed to feel closure again. Fr. Pat had some really great things to say. It's always amazing to know that no matter what I'm ashamed of, I can always turn back to my God through confession.
My Lord,
I love You with all my heart and soul. You are the center of my life. Without Your wondrous Love, I would not be here. Your Mercy is incredible, O my God. I do not deserve all that You do and all that You have given me. You have blessed me with incredible people for friends, with amazing opportunities. I can not wrap my mind around Your Love, but that is what makes Your Love so astonishing. I thank You for the talents with which You have blessed me, and I pray that I can use them for Your Glory. Thank you for the beautiful relationship that I am blessed to participate in with John. Thank You, O my King, for the abundance of blessings that You have showered upon me. Most of all, Lord, I thank You for the gift of Your unending Mercy through the sacrament of confession. You are amazing, O Christ! I adore You!
Amen.
My Lord,
I love You with all my heart and soul. You are the center of my life. Without Your wondrous Love, I would not be here. Your Mercy is incredible, O my God. I do not deserve all that You do and all that You have given me. You have blessed me with incredible people for friends, with amazing opportunities. I can not wrap my mind around Your Love, but that is what makes Your Love so astonishing. I thank You for the talents with which You have blessed me, and I pray that I can use them for Your Glory. Thank you for the beautiful relationship that I am blessed to participate in with John. Thank You, O my King, for the abundance of blessings that You have showered upon me. Most of all, Lord, I thank You for the gift of Your unending Mercy through the sacrament of confession. You are amazing, O Christ! I adore You!
Amen.
Friday, June 8, 2012
When You're Worried And You Can't Sleep, Just Count Your Blessings.
I went to bed at midnight today, and I've been awake since 4:00. I woke up and felt like I was going to throw up, so I decided I'd just relax and try to not think about it. My cat was going crazy and I heard some little squeaks and there was this adorable little mouse running from me mean, albeit cute kitty. I woke my dad up and we took it outside. After that, since I was still feeling sick, I figured I'd watch a show that makes me laugh...America's Got Talent. It's the ONLY "reality" show I watch. Yeah, I know most of it's made up, but it makes me smile. That, however, is not the point of this post. As I was sitting up, 5 A.M. rolled around...then 5:30. And with that came the crack of dawn. I haven't actually seen the sun rise in a really long time. It was peaceful and there were birds chirping constantly. It was beautiful. It just made me realize how truly beautiful all of God's creation is. I have so much to be thankful for.
Monday, June 4, 2012
A Love That Never Ceases To Amaze
As I type this I'm watching my best friends go on Millenium Force while I sit here feeling sick. Its been a rough day so far and John and I have had an interesting time dealing with everything. But no matter how annoying I get, he is always there for me. I'm amazed every day by his love for me and I can never thank him enough. He is so strong when I cant be. He never lets me forget that he loves me. I couldn't have asked for a better boyfreind that John Paul James Lann.
Thank You, O God, for allowing us to grow in love for each other these past two and a half years. I pray that we may grow in love and strengthen our relationship and that we might be together for many more years to come.
I love you, John. So much. Thank you for everything. You mean the world to me and I hope you always know that.
Thank You, O God, for allowing us to grow in love for each other these past two and a half years. I pray that we may grow in love and strengthen our relationship and that we might be together for many more years to come.
I love you, John. So much. Thank you for everything. You mean the world to me and I hope you always know that.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Bittersweet Goodbye
My best friends graduated today. I love them all so much. First, there's John. I mean, y'all know how much I love him. I'm so proud of him. My boyfriend is going off to the University of Cincinnati to study architectural engineering. He has a renewable scholarship for every year, and he was offered a HUGE scholarship for the University of Dayton. I'm gonna miss him bucket loads when he's gone, but I'm so immensely proud of my amazing boyfriend. And he did an incredible job (as I mentioned before) in "The Taming of the Shrew" with one of my oldest friends: Liz Knab
Ahhh, Liz. What can I even say?? We've been friends for 15 years, and we've had so many crazy adventures. Red bull, special juice, walking to CVS in the FREEZING snow, laying on treadmills, recording ridiculous things on my phone, and so much more. We've had a lot of fun times. It's going to be really weird not seeing her around every day. She's going to make an awesome writing/theology major - her blog (CLICK HERE!!!) is really good and she is such a faith-filled young woman. I'm really proud of her and I've always looked up to her. She's just a really special person and I'm really happy for her! :)
Mickey D....Matthew McDonald....Ohhhh gosh. So many things to say. Always makes me laugh, has the WORST puns...but they're so bad it's funny, he always makes fun of me, but it's cool. He's studying classics and biology next year and I think he's gonna be just fine. Congrats, Mickey D!
Danielle. What can I really say? I'm so proud of her. She's so strong and really helpful to everyone. She's one of the most faithful people I know and I'm proud to call her my sister in Christ. I'm going to miss her, but she's going to make a great nurse. She's great with people and she loves helping them. I'm really excited to see how well she does!
Margo, well I don't know her very well, but she's one of the sweetest people I've met. She's just like a Langley, and that's awesome! She's really caring and faithful and she's going to do great things for Christ and for others.
So congratulations to the amazing class of 2012. I love you all and I can't wait to see you all again really soon! God bless you all in everything you do. Fiat lux!
Ahhh, Liz. What can I even say?? We've been friends for 15 years, and we've had so many crazy adventures. Red bull, special juice, walking to CVS in the FREEZING snow, laying on treadmills, recording ridiculous things on my phone, and so much more. We've had a lot of fun times. It's going to be really weird not seeing her around every day. She's going to make an awesome writing/theology major - her blog (CLICK HERE!!!) is really good and she is such a faith-filled young woman. I'm really proud of her and I've always looked up to her. She's just a really special person and I'm really happy for her! :)
Mickey D....Matthew McDonald....Ohhhh gosh. So many things to say. Always makes me laugh, has the WORST puns...but they're so bad it's funny, he always makes fun of me, but it's cool. He's studying classics and biology next year and I think he's gonna be just fine. Congrats, Mickey D!
Danielle. What can I really say? I'm so proud of her. She's so strong and really helpful to everyone. She's one of the most faithful people I know and I'm proud to call her my sister in Christ. I'm going to miss her, but she's going to make a great nurse. She's great with people and she loves helping them. I'm really excited to see how well she does!
Margo, well I don't know her very well, but she's one of the sweetest people I've met. She's just like a Langley, and that's awesome! She's really caring and faithful and she's going to do great things for Christ and for others.
So congratulations to the amazing class of 2012. I love you all and I can't wait to see you all again really soon! God bless you all in everything you do. Fiat lux!
Friday, June 1, 2012
Tepus Fugit
Oh, how time flies. I've been with John for over two and a half years, and I've been friends with Liz Knab (Here's a link to her blog...which is awesome) since I was born. Tonight, I had the privilege of seeing them play opposite each other in "The Taming of the Shrew". Their comedic timing and sarcastic comebacks (cleverly written by the great William Shakespeare) were acted and delivered superbly. These two, though I wasn't terribly fond of watching my oldest friend kiss my boyfriend (haha), had me convinced that they were in love...thankfully only for a few hours. I have never been prouder of them. They are such amazing, talented people that I have been privileged to have in my life for the past years. I love them both dearly. I get to watch these two wonderful people graduate from high school tomorrow and go on to do what they love. I can't wait to see what Liz does with her writing and what John does with his architectural engineering. It doesn't feel like I'm ready to let them graduate, though. Time goes so quickly. The two and a half years that I've spent as John's girlfriend have been incredible and I've never been happier. And Liz and I have been through a lot of crazy times together, but we can still be weird and ridiculous together. It's going to be weird not seeing them every day...
But congratulations, Liz and John. I love you both and I look forward to watching you receive those diplomas tomorrow...or as Fr. Ireland calls them "pieces of paper that say you're smart!" God bless you both!!
But congratulations, Liz and John. I love you both and I look forward to watching you receive those diplomas tomorrow...or as Fr. Ireland calls them "pieces of paper that say you're smart!" God bless you both!!
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